Hi Everyone,
Please take the time to view the inset video above, as much of our post today, will be based on this video:
Kristen and Steve met in Second Life. Both were in unhappy, real life relationships at the time of their meeting...so their Second Life avatars (Kira and Nik) provided a means of escape.
The above video shows how they met in Second Life, their wedding there and Steve eventually proposing to Kristen in real life (or Real Life)!
[Second life is a Virtual World, where people interact with each other and their environment via avatars - alter egos of themselves who can be people, animals, machines or any object they so choose.
In Second Life (SL for short) activities and places mirror real life activities and places - so just like in your real life community you'd have companies, buildings, houses, churches, schools, movie theatres, art galleries, museums, etc., - Second Life has all these and more.
...People can even own land there.
But, unlike Real Life (RL), the avatars can do super-human things like fly from one destination to the next, do extraordinary feats like building whole communities (providing you have enough Second Life currency - (Linden dollars) and enough people whom you can collaborate with - with real life experience like architects - who can help you.)
Many romances start in Second Life...and there are even certain destinations in Second Life set up where people interested in relationships can hang out, meet each other and decide what happens next.
[You have to understand that this occurs as the demographics of people in Second Life are technology-savvy 20 and 30-something year-olds; SL inhabitants are 50% female and 50% male, although some statistics say that the ratio is really 80% male to 20% female, as you have quite a few men whose avatars are female.
According to article, "Know Your Customers: Second Life Demographics", by Todd Burst, most persons in Second Life are from the USA (39.4%), Germany (9.5%) and the UK (6.6%)].
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The interesting thing about Virtual Worlds is that people are emotionally involved with their and other avatars - people actually take their interactions seriously...so seriously that you, just as in real life (RL), have to be careful how you treat people...even though they may represent themselves as animals or objects.
But just as how Kira and Nik's romance blossomed in Second Life (SL), people are increasingly interacting with virtual worlds to conduct relationships.
Some like Kristen (Kira) and Steve (Nik), eventually meet when they see that the relationship is getting serious - in that they use Real Life to "test" the relationship waters...
[The reasons are twofold:
1) Many people want to see if their SL relationships can translate into RL relationships
2) Many people want to ascertain if the real-life person behind their love interest avatar is who he/she purports him/herself to be. This is especially important, as in virtual worlds, men can represent themselves as female avatars and vice versa...adults can also represent themselves as child avatars and vice versa and both adults and children can purport themselves to be objects - like a ball of fire, etc.
Meeting the real person behind your love-interest avatar helps you determine where or not to go further in the virtual world relationship].
However, there are other persons who prefer to keep their Virtual World relationships, just that -virtual...within the realms of the Virtual World and never meet.
Why?
Some people prefer being in make-believe/Virtual World relationships that give them an escape from stressful and contentious RL relationships.
Unfortunately some married people or those in "committed" Real Life relationships, gallivant (through their avatar) with other avatars, often fooling the real life people behind these avatars, that they are single.
...Some people may feel that this is quite ok, but given the emotional attachment that people have with their avatars, I feel that this is akin to emotionally cheating on your real life (RL) spouse...
...The reason being that living in a Virtual World detracts from the time you'd spend with your RL partner/spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend: Since most people spend between 4-12 hours a day in Virtual Worlds...that's a lot of time of distraction from real world activities and real world people :).
Also being in a Virtual World relationship, like being in a RL relationship ...takes a lot of investment of your emotional energy...emotional energy that should be vested in your RL partner (if you have one) and not with an avatar.
So just as in real life, if someone you're involved with is actually in a real life relationship, and you're aware of it, warning bells, should go off ...warning bells should also go off if this is the situation with the RL person behind your love-interest avatar... and you should thus end the relationship.
But as previously stated, some people are quite ok with the emotional cheating that goes on in Virtual Worlds and are quite up to it.
...So If you fall in this category, then, the choice is yours...please be prepared for the consequences which follow, however...for this can lead to the end of your real life relationship.
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Now back to virtual world marriages: I think that there is a place for virtual world marriages:
If two avatars are that serious about marriage and are both single in real life, they should go ahead and marry.
There is a limit to make-believe. If you're that serious, you should meet, and if your meeting confirms the relationship and eventually your desire to marry..then by all means, move ahead.
If you do decide to marry, then it's great to have both a virtual and a real world wedding, as both your friends in the virtual and real world want to wish you well, so both sets of friends should be invited.
...Just as in the case of Kira and Nik's wedding...technology allows your real life family and friends to go to both your virtual and RL wedding.
Technology, unfortunately, is not yet at the stage where your avatar friends can attend your real life wedding...but I foresee that within the next ten (10) years, the line between avatar and human being will be so blurred, that this will be very possible.
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I see virtual worlds augmenting real world-marriages, e.g. when partners have a real world (RL) quarrel or disagreement, they can prepare make-up dinners, dates, in an exotic Virtual World environment that can actually enhance their real world relationship.
They can also fine-tune their love-making skills (oh, I know lots of people will be rushing to Second Life to test this one :)), child-rearing skills and other collaborative skills involved in being married and in making a house a home.
Second Life avatars can also be moved in all sorts of directions and positions, so if your partner has a physical disability in RL, a virtual world allows you to dance with, experiment with sexual positions and do other activities, not possible in real life (RL).
Please see E-article, "Science of Sex - Dating and mating in Second Life", for more information.
So, virtual world marriages do have their place...and a very healthy one at that. :)
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In our next post, we will examine how virtual worlds will influence the future of Internet dating - so please don't miss it!
(I would like to thank RhiannonSL for the use of her inset Youtube video above decribing Nik and Kris' Second Life romance and wedding).
Gillian
Sources Include
1) Report, "Second Life Demographics" by Xah Lee, taken from data by Dr. Jim Burbick, Linden Labs, May 2009
2) Article, "Know Your Customers: Second Life Demographics", by Todd Burst, April 30,2009
3) E-article, "Science of Sex - Dating and mating in Second Life", by Anne Machalinski, Aili McConnon and Christie Nicholson.
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